Resentment is the experience of a negative emotion.
That is what I felt from Glenis, Elias’ mom, for the first time a week and a half ago - our last visit with her. In her heart I have to believe that she knows we love her and Elias both and are just trying to do what’s best for him. But (because some people are telling her) she is allowing herself to believe that we are trying to steal her son from her. Honestly, it hurt. It hurt to sit across from her and feel the tension and anger. What hurt more, her asking for more time with her son, asking to be able to take him for the whole day and then bring him back at night, and having to tell her no. Telling her that it’s not good for Elias emotionally to see her more than once a month.
I can’t imagine the hurt she is feeling. Knowing another women is raising her child and calling the shots on when and how often she can see him. It kills me every time I have to tell her ‘times up’. But as my husband gently reminds me, “Stop feeling guilty for doing what God has asked us to do. We are to do what’s best for Elias.” And, sometimes what’s best for Elias is not best for Glenis. I don’t blame her for feeling resentful.
Tomorrow she is suppose to sign papers with the lawyer for the judge. We are praying and hoping that this week we will get our Honduran approval to take Elias to the States (I am not holding my breath). Tomorrow she will probably get to see Elias even though it’s only been a week and a half. And, tomorrow night and Thursday there is the potential for Elias to be emotional and clingy.
I thought toddler years were suppose to just be a lot of physical work!?! With this little guy it’s both physical and mental. I am blessed to know that I can rest in the LORD. That He is in control and all the mental work - well, that’s His job! I am told to:
Cast all your cares upon him for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalm 55:22
Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
(ha! just realized that verse reference is my birthday - guess that should be my life verse!)
Thanks for your prayers for both Glenis and Elias and us Clows in this whole situation!