I am feeling sad tonight. I just received the news that a dear college friend has been placed in ICU. She had a major dose of chemo several days ago. Now it seems that she has a blood infection and her body can't fight it because the chemo killed all her white blood cells. Scott and Katie have two small children, Daniel and Bethany. My heart is hurting for the whole family, but right now -especially- for those precious children who have no way of fully knowing what is happening right now. If in His perfect plan, God should choose to take Katie home, I know the road that is ahead for those kids. I know because when I was five I lost my father. It was the summer before I started Kindergarten. Daniel started Kinder this year. Tomorrow Katie was suppose to take Bethany to her first day of Pre-K. I know that our God is sovereign that He has a plan and a purpose. But I also know that we live in a fallen world. "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome!" God never promised to remove all sorrow. So why do we think of sadness and grieving as a "wrong" thing? It is a feeling that God himself went through/goes through. He grieves with us. He sees Scott sitting beside his wife's bed as she battles this horrible disease. His heart is breaking right along with the whole family. It is my prayer that it will be God's plan to heal Katie and allow her many years with her husband and kids. It is my prayer that God will rejoice over this family with singing - that He will turn their sorrow into gladness and their mourning into joy. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katieburson Here is the link that will tell about Katie's story if you are interested.
I am saddened because I also received the news of the death of Cecil Hodge, my high school coach. He was only 60 years old. I don't know any details, but I grieve all the same. He and his wife Gwynne were special important people in my life during my last two years of school. My heart breaks for Gwynne and her kids. For their grandkids.
Loss doesn't just come in forms of illness and death. In my joy there is also a little sadness as I saw pictures of my nieces engagement party. Emily is the first of my nieces and nephews to get married and I can't be there to share in all the pre-wedding things. It is hard watching and hearing both sorrow and joy of friends and family and not being able to share that with them.
In sharing my heart with you, please don't think that I am sad because God has called us to serve Him on foreign soil. I am elated that we get the honor and privilege of serving! I can only pray that the sadness that He is allowing me to feel today is because there is someone else down the road who will be feeling what I feel and will need an encouraging word or just the quiet presence of a friend who knows what they are feeling. Not just in feelings, but in life, I believe that what we went through yesterday was preparation for today. What we go through today is preparation for tomorrow. I am learning to live life in the here and now. Not in past regrets or in worrying about the "what ifs" of tomorrow. But being "ALL HERE" so that I can learn everything that God needs me to learn - TODAY.
Thursday I leave for a long weekend in Fort Worth, Texas - all by myself. John and the kids will be staying here in Harlingen. I will be attending class that will train me to teach a child abuse awareness course. I will also get a few days with a dear friend who has been a huge source of encouragement and wisdom for me over the past several years. See - God knew that I would need some "girl-time" this weekend and He already had it all set up! All honor and power and glory be unto His name forever and ever. Amen.
Update: It's Tuesday am - Katie made it through the night. Her fever broke at 1am. She's still weak and not able to fight the infection - so not out of the woods yet - but praising God all the same that she is still with us, and no fever! Scott went home to get some rest and Katie's mother is with her right now.